Hey, I’m Jenna.
I’m a 5’1” woman who once felt powerless in my ability to protect myself. Walking to my car at night, I’d grip my keys so tightly they left marks in my palms. I’d avoid eye contact and hope I wouldn’t draw attention. Then one night, everything changed. A stranger followed me to my car, and much to my surprise, I didn’t freeze—I acted by pulling out the pin on my personal safety alarm (an impulse buy).
It let off an ear-piercing shriek loud enough to wake everyone in the neighborhood, which startled him, and he turned around and walked away.
That moment flipped a switch in me. I realized I wasn’t powerless. I just needed the right tools and mindset.
Now, I’m on a mission to empower others to feel confident, capable, and prepared to handle any situation.
In this guide, I’ll teach you how to protect yourself, spot a predator, weapons you need, and the best self defense techniques you should learn.
After all, preparation can increase your chances of staying safe by 10%, 20%, or even more.
Let’s get started.
Self-Defense 101
Step 1: Let's Develop Situational Awareness
Self-defense isn’t always about defending yourself in a bad situation. Rather, most of the time, it’s about staying away from the bad situation in the first place.
So, how do you avoid trouble? Intuition is your best survival tool. Often dismissed or ignored, these internal alarms can warn you of potential danger long before it manifests.
Have you ever felt uneasy about a situation or person, but you ignore it, because you think you are imagining something? That’s your body alerting you to danger. Trust it.
Human beings are animals at their core—natural predators, programmed to assess strength and weakness. When you acknowledge that side of human psychology, you can start noticing red flags of a sketchy person.
One amazing book that changed how I understood danger was "The Gift Of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. Highly recommend. He says that intuition is rarely wrong; it’s the internal warning system designed to keep you alive.
Scan Your Environment: Stay alert to what’s happening around you. Note exits, identify areas of potential danger (e.g., poorly lit spaces), and watch for individuals behaving unusually.
Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, leave. Intuition is not paranoia; it’s an internal survival signal that is often accurate.
Step 2: Choose the Right Tools for Your Protection
It's going to take you a least a year to get the hang of the basics of a fight skill like jiu-jitsu. In the mean time, self-defense tools can significantly enhance your ability to protect yourself:
Essential Tools:
Highly effective and legal in most states with some restrictions.
Compact, easy to carry, and capable of disabling an attacker from a safe distance. If you're interested, you can check out the full guide on the 5 best pepper sprays here.
Effective for immobilizing your attacker momentarily.
Legal in many states, but check local regulations before purchasing.
A Byrna Gun is a non-lethal tool that will convince someone you have a gun, when it's not. It's actually an air pistol.
Instead of a bullet, a CO2 cartridge is inserted into the device. When you pull the trigger, the CO2 gas is released, propelling the projectile toward the target with speed and force, helping you disable an attacker without permanent harm.
And that's even if you need to use it. Just seeing this "weapon" might be enough to scare someone off.
This is a small, portable devices that emit a loud sound to attract attention and deter attackers.
Carry it around town, walking your dog, on the trails, across campus, to your car, in the parking lot, on public transportation, when traveling.
Step 3: Understand Predator Psychology
Now that you're equipped with some weapons, it's time to understand the mindset of someone who wants to harm you.
Heavy stuff. But this is is how you become prepared.
At its core, the mindset of a predator revolves around power, control, and opportunism. Predators often view their targets through the lens of vulnerability and accessibility, seeking to exploit any perceived weakness to gain an advantage.
Predators often exploit politeness or hesitation. For example, if they want access to your apartment, they might act as a concerned neighbor helping you with groceries to find an excuse to get inside.
Many victims report feeling uncomfortable or uneasy before an attack but ignore these feelings to avoid seeming rude.
Beware of Overfriendly Behavior: A stranger who insists on helping you despite your refusal might be testing your boundaries.
Assert Boundaries: You are under no obligation to engage with someone making you uncomfortable. Politely but firmly say no, and walk away if needed.
Appear Confident, Not Confrontational: Predators seek easy targets, not individuals who appear ready to defend themselves.
Red Flags to Watch For:
Persistence: They continue to insist on helping despite your refusal.
Proximity: They stand too close, invading your personal space.
Distraction Tactics: They try to focus your attention elsewhere, such as on your car, while positioning themselves advantageously.
Unfamiliar Behavior: They suggest solutions or actions that seem overly complex or unnecessary for the supposed issue.
Isolation Attempts: They attempt to guide you to a less visible area under the guise of helping you.
How To Avoid Being Prey:
Eye Contact: Looking people directly in the eyes communicates awareness. It signals to potential predators that you’ve noticed them and are monitoring your surroundings. This can discourage them from approaching.
Posture & Confidence: Predators often assess victims for signs of weakness. If you’re walking with slouched shoulders and taking small steps, you may appear vulnerable. Walk tall, take purposeful strides, and exude confidence.
Step 4: Know Your Rights
The U.S. has various laws, such as the Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground laws, that determine when and how you can defend yourself legally.
Castle Doctrine: Allows you to use force, including deadly force, to protect yourself in your home.
Stand Your Ground Laws: In some states, you have no duty to retreat before using force in self-defense if you are in a place you have the legal right to be.
Step 5: Learn Jiu-Jitsu (NOT Basic Self-Defense Classes)
If I'm going to be honest, basic self-defense classes don't really work. But no one is going to tell you that because the alternative is having to learn an actual martial arts.
And that's difficult to do.
My recommendation is to sign up to jiu-jitsu classes. If avoidance isn’t possible, knowing how to physically defend yourself can give you precious seconds back to escape.
As a woman, you probably feel torn between two extremes: convincing yourself you could handle an attacker, or assuming you’d freeze and have no chance. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. You have the ability to learn a difficult skill like jiu-jitsu which will give you a fighting chance against a man that does not know martial arts. Most people don't.
This, hand in hand, with your intuition and intelligence to pick up on social red flags & quickly profile someone's behavior, body language and speech to alert you to sketchy behavior. A powerful set of skills.
As a man, until now, you've probably been taught to suppress aggression, to "tone it down" because it’s seen as dangerous. But here’s the truth: learning to control aggression doesn’t make you dangerous—it makes you powerful.
A trained person knows how to channel that energy, becoming more competent and, paradoxically, calmer. Why? Because they understand they can dismantle someone in seconds if necessary, and that confidence reduces the need for violence. It’s often the weak, untrained individuals—those who feel insecure or threatened—who act recklessly and dangerously.
Men and women alike will benefit immensely from fight training, such as learning Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Programs like these, for men and women, can teach you how to control a confrontation. You also need to unlock the repressed predator inside you and realize you are a natural born fighter.
As I said earlier, it takes time to learn a martial artis. In the meant time, here are some simple techniques focus on creating space between you and an attacker and finding opportunities to escape:
The best self defense techniques (for now):
Push Up with Your Hips: Use your body weight (really important for women) to push someone off you. If someone is lying on top of you, immediately wrap your legs around their waist or hips. This helps you gain control and limits their movement.
Bend your knees, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and push your hips upward with force. This sudden motion disrupts their balance and can make them lose control or fall forward.
Breaking Free from Grabs: If they are lying on top of you, wrap your legs around them and push up with your hips and leverage to escape wrist or arm holds by targeting weak points, like the attacker’s thumb.
Palm Strikes and Knee Strikes: Focus on vulnerable areas like the eyes, groin, nose, chin, or groin. These moves don’t require immense strength but can momentarily disable an attacker.
Step 6: Know Your Rights
Understanding your rights is critical when it comes to self-defense. The U.S. has various laws, such as the Castle Doctrine and Stand Your Ground laws, that determine when and how you can defend yourself legally.
The Castle Doctrine: Imagine you’re at home, and someone breaks in. The Castle Doctrine allows you to use force, including deadly force, to defend yourself without needing to retreat. Your home is your sanctuary, and this law protects your right to safeguard it.
Stand Your Ground Laws: Let’s say you’re walking to your car, and someone threatens you. In states with Stand Your Ground laws, you can defend yourself without trying to escape first—as long as you’re in a place you’re legally allowed to be.
Duty to Retreat: In contrast, some states require you to avoid confrontation if possible. For example, if someone threatens you in a parking lot, these laws expect you to try to leave the situation before resorting to force. However, this duty often doesn’t apply inside your home.
Proportional Force: You’re walking on a trail, and someone grabs your bag. The law generally expects your response to match the level of the threat. For example, using a firearm in response to a verbal argument would be considered excessive and could have legal consequences.
Carrying Self-Defense Tools: Each state has its own rules about tools like pepper spray, stun guns, and tasers. Some states may require permits, while others prohibit certain items altogether. Before you carry anything, check your state’s laws to ensure you’re compliant.
Defending Others: If you see someone being attacked, many states allow you to step in and use reasonable force to protect them. However, the same rules about proportionality and necessity apply.
Final Thoughts: Build Yourself into a Weapon
Self-defense isn’t about living in fear—it’s about unlocking your inner strength and stepping up to protect yourself and your loved ones. It’s about forging a mindset of readiness and taking charge of your safety.
No one’s coming to save you — it’s on you to build the skills, awareness, and tools that give you the upper hand when it counts.
If you’re ready to take control and elevate your preparedness, have a look into these powerful resources to sharpen your edge:
You’re stronger and more capable than you think.
Stay safe!
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